Feel the Love, Fake the Substance

By: Nate Bowden

@ActionNate

Does love conquer all? I dunno, but it can definitely beat the bloody hell out of a good story if it’s not there for a reason! There are plenty of great love stories out there, and great romances that give characters depth, but as writers I think we’re aiming for Han Solo and Leia, rather than say, Anakin and Padme, am I right?

"But... all you need is love..."

So why do some go right, while others go oh, so wrong? Well, short of giving Lucas the reins with no oversight, the worst thing you can do is force love into a story where it doesn’t belong just to fake substance.

Hollywood, for the sake of box office draw, always needs a leading lady to balance the male action hero. Now, before I’m drawn and quartered for being a sexist pig, I submit that this does a huge disservice to a female lead as well as the story. If the hero is in love, it damn well better serve as the motivation. Ocean’s 12, see Ocean’s 11 for reference. Too many times have great actresses and characters been relegated to the second fiddle as a flat, soulless object of the hero’s desire, because whatever the story needs, it don’t need love!

The question mark is apt...

If there is one leading man that doesn’t need love, it’s Batman. Here’s a man that is so psychologically warped that women should be nothing but a distraction to his own personal war. “Not so!” says Hollywood. Vicki Vale, Selina Kyle (twice)… the lovely Dr. Chase Meridian… whoever the fuck that is, and of course Rachel Dawes. Nolan’s Batman is a re-imagining that relied on the Dawes character for motivation. Which, as good as these movies are, doesn’t serve Batman, he already has motivation. Does anyone think the real Batman would retire because the girlfriend he shouldn’t have had in the first place, died? If anything, he doubles down on that psychosis! See A Death in the Family.

As Rises indicates, if he finds love and happiness, he’s not Batman anymore. Let the Batman brood and leave the lovey-dovey stuff for a less damaged hero, okay? 

Speaking of moody men not needing love interests, the small screen’s been known to force a pairing or two as well. The overly beautiful lead detectives on Law and Order: SVU got together. A cop show about rape and child abuse, ah love is in the air. Spooky Mulder had no business finding love with Dr. Scully. Both of these are a case of fan interference. (calm down Bartman, nerd fans not sports fans) If a great show, maybe with a flirty dynamic, runs long enough, fans clamor for what they shouldn’t be allowed, and if the show runners cave, that series will go down like the Hindenburg! It will never make the great movie it was meant to. Chris Carter knows that now… I hope.

Not all romances are a death sentence. Often romantic tension is what we tune in for, Ross and Rachel, Lois and Clark, Jim and Pam… um, that chick from Bones and David Boreanaz, I assume? But how many times have you heard “The show really went downhill once X and Y got together…”? That’s because the tension was the focus of those stories. Once the hunt was over, what were we watching for? Have we ever seen a sequel to a Hugh Grant movie?

"They say our chemistry is to die for."                               "I don't get the chinese food thing."

A great, storied relationship means the hero’s growth comes from learning to love, like Jerry Maguire being completed by Dorothy Boyd.(yeah, I had you at hello, well, see my rant on cliché, alright?) But if you’re the God of Thunder and your moral flaw is hubris, you don’t find  humility by inexplicably falling in love with a mere mortal because she offered to give you a ride to your Mjolnir.

"Says here in the script that we love each other."                "Uh, do what now?

We’ve had some setbacks here at Ran(t)som Notes, 

but next: Wayne Spencer really will rail on snobby nerds…